Until now, I’ve lead a very satisfying life.
I’ve enjoyed growing into the woman I am today by becoming wiser, more adventurous, and financially secure along the way. Yet, I can’t seem to get past the way my body is changing. It takes more effort to stay in shape now than it did five years ago. I feel like no matter what I do, it’s never enough. It seems as if whatever I eat, I gain weight. Why does this bother me so much? Should it?
A few days ago, my neck looked fine in the mirror. Then seemingly overnight, this unwelcomed area of fat appeared below my chin. I immediately went to see my dermatologist an inquired about this uninvited visitor who had taken refuge in my chin, and how to get rid of it! The options given were not very comforting as most involved some sort of invasive procedure. What I didn’t mention to my dermatologist, the other unwanted visitors that had taken up refuge in my body: the ‘back fat’, ‘tit pit’, etc. just to mention a few. There are so many factors with aging I am just now experiencing. How did my mother and grandmothers deal with this? How does any woman going through life changes and deal with it? Do I accept these changes or fight them?
How long should we hold on to our youthfulness? Should we ever stop? At what cost, if any?
After much deliberation with myself, I decided I will not and cannot accept these changes. Does that make me vain? Probably. Then I acknowledge that my vanity is a good thing. It is a key driving force in my quest to stay youthful.
On a lighter and more positive note, I do have this amazingly handsome fiancé who adores me… he continually tells me I’m beautiful no matter how I feel about myself. I’m such a lucky lady to have him by my side. Through thick and thin, hot flushes and freezing air-conditioning temperatures to combat them, rants and raves, he is the steady stream of delightfulness I need in my life. Best of all he is a balm for my sanity…
and in those secret moments a balm for my vanity…