Your Guide to Self Pleasure

Now that we have established that self-pleasure is healthy, especially for women as we age, I think you might be ready to jump the next hurdle; choosing a sex toy!

First-time sex toy user?

If you are a first-time sex toy user, there may be many questions and unknowns running through your mind. Trust me by the end of this article you will have everything you need to know to make an informed purchase either online or in a sex store!

Be Informed: Sex Toy Shopping Guidelines

1. What are you looking for in a sex toy?

Seriously, just looking at all the options available online, how will you know what works for you? Well, if you don’t begin experimenting you will never know! So, what do you hope to achieve with your sex toy? Of course, satisfaction is at the top of the list, but what is your preference, internal or external stimulation? What do you like in terms of shape, size, and texture?

For a majority of women, almost 70%, clitoral stimulation is more effective for orgasm compared to vaginal penetration. Starting with a small external vibrator such as a bullet vibrator may be a safe option for your first sex toy. If you are feeling a little more adventurous there are sex toys that offer both external and internal stimulation.

2. Which material is the safest?

Before we dive into the perfect sex toy for you, selecting a sex toy made out of skin-safe material is important. Pure 100% silicone, medical-grade finished wood, medical-grade stainless steel, aluminum (usually powder-coated with body-safe coloring), borosilicate glass, and ABS plastic is considered non-toxic (but is somewhat porous) –  all are options.

As you begin shopping for sex toys, you will come across many toys where material has been branded “body safe.” This should not be enough to convince you though, because manufacturers will put this label on materials that are not skin safe just to generate sales. Pleasure is good but protecting your lady parts come first.

Always purchase from a trusted retailer.

These brands come recommended from Dangerouslilly:  ShevibeSmitten KittenEarly to BedCome As You Are, SheBop, Babeland, and Good For Her. Always do your research. It’s also great to go to a brick and mortar store and speak to a sales representative for suggestions and touch the products.

3. Surprise! It doesn’t have to look like a penis.

How many times have you pleasured yourself with your fingers? Plenty of times, right? So, why do you think you must get a sex toy that looks like a penis? Trust me, all-female sex toys are designed with the female anatomy in mind, so those design-centric toys that you may shy away from because they don’t look like a penis may just be what you need to have mind-blowing orgasms.

The Womanizer has been receiving great reviews and seems like it has a huge following and it’s designed for a woman, with air-pressure stimulation.

But this doesn’t mean penis-looking sex toys are a no-go. If that is what gets you off, then go for it girl! For loads of information please check out Sex With Emily, as she gives awesome advice on all things SEX!

4. Vibrating or non-vibrating sex toys?

Vibrators or vibes as most people refer them cause sexual stimulation through vibrating. Dildos, on the other hand, do so through thrusting. Now, both variations of sex toys are great for self-pleasure, but for some of us, we prefer a sex toy with a subtle curve to hit our G-spot just right. So, if you feel that a vibrator may not satisfy your needs, there is a vast range of dildos to choose from. Some of the most spectacular dildos are the Stronic range from Fun factory. What is so striking about this range of dildos is that they can trust on their own, no hands needed! Amazing, right?

5. Battery-operated or rechargeable?

Rechargeable sex toys can easily be charged using your USB socket charger or laptop, but they tend to be a bit more expensive compared to battery-operated sex toys. Battery operated sex toys are more affordable but will require battery replacement. Believe me; it is not funny when you want to give yourself a little self-love only to find out the batteries are low. For this reason, you may want to invest in a rechargeable sex toy, plus they are more environmentally friendly. Personally, I enjoy my small lipstick vibrator when traveling, it’s rechargeable and I can carry it in my purse!

6. Take your time when shopping.

There are so many options available when shopping online or at a physical store. Don’t be embarrassed either! Be confident, be informed before going, ask the right questions, and keep asking until you find a product that you think you might enjoy. I have accumulated a few I really like and some I don’t. There is a no return policy, so choose wisely!

Pro tip: Hold the vibrator against the tip of your nose to get a clue on how it will feel against your clitoris.

7. A good lube is a perfect addition.

I am sure you know that the smoother the experience, the greater the pleasure. But if you didn’t, I just let you in on a valuable secret. So, as you shop for your sex toy, shop for lube as well. Water-based and oil-based lubes are the safest options as there is no risk of them reacting with the material of any sex toy. There has been a constant debate on the compatibility of silicone-based lubes with silicone sex toys.

Personally, I prefer to use Uber Lube when I need it. It’s a silicone-based lube and travels well, without leaking. The sex toys I have are all 100% silicone and purchased from reputable stores. It’s good to keep a water-based lube at home too, to match it with your various sex toys. Keep in mind, lubes made from oils, such as baby oil, coconut oil, etc. will break down latex condoms and increase the risk for STDs.

8. Sex toys for couples?

Sure, sex toys are great for masturbating, but company is always welcome! There are sex toys specifically designed for couples. If you and your partner are looking to add sex toys to your sex play, there are plenty of options. Check out this article from Allure for 23 of the best sex toys for couples.

There you have it…

Everything you need to know as a first-time sex toy buyer. Are you ready to do some sexual exploration? Whether you settle for a vibrator, a dildo, or something in between, do your research and start experimenting!

Many orgasms await!

Joycelyn Spears


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